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Thursday, December 19, 2013

Let's Talk Deployment Series: Interview with The Aviator

Welcome back to the Let's Talk Deployment Series! In this post, you will get to see deployment from the other side. I interviewed my husband, The Aviator, to get his input and his insight into a few things. With his blessing, I have published it here for you!

1. What helps you get through a deployment?
A: The help and support from all of my family and friends, here and back home. From phone calls, email, letters, etc. All of these things allow me to know people are thinking of me. It helps knowing this.

2. What makes it hard for you to get through deployment?
A: Feeling alone and by myself. That's why I want to know all the details of what is happening back home, you know. This helps me feel close to you guys and allows me to feel like a part of everything.

3. What is the best way, in your opinion, for a family at home to show support to the deployed member?
A: Don't talk negatively about the situation. I know that it's hard and, to me, it doesn't show support when people are complaining about it all the time. I know there will be sad times, but look at the silver lining of the deployment, then when its over and I'm home, then we can talk about how hard it was being away for that time.

4. How can the deployed member show support to those at home?
A: Stay engaged with what' s going on back home. I know there are things I need to do to help you guys out back home and if I keep doing those things then I know that you will be happy and fulfilled and not think I don't care whats going on. I want you to know that I am in tune with whats going on there.

5. Can you stay connected besides phone calls?
A: Absolutely. Phone calls, emails, letters, packages, etc. can help everyone feel connected with one another. I like the "book club" idea though because it allows another aspect of connection with one another. (pretty proud of this idea ;))
*The "book club" idea is one that The Aviator and I do, and yes, it was his idea! We pick a book to read together, buy 2 copies, set a certain chapter to read and then discuss it during a set "book club" time. During deployment, one needs to remember flexibility with changes in the schedule however!*

6. Do you think it is harmful to the relationship to "live as a single person" during deployment?
A: I absolutely feel/think it is incredibly harmful to "live as a single person" when people are deployed. Then people get the idea that they can do what they want because their loved-one isn't there. I think its important to to stay connected and not go too crazy when people are deployed. I think there is a line there though. I, as a deployed member, am not going to sit around on my down time and wait around for my loved one to be there. I think it is very important to experience things in the area you are in (where ever the member is deployed to). This also goes for the family of the deployed member. They should go out and experience things in their local area too and possibly new areas outside of their area.  Again, this is a fine line.
 
So as you can tell, communication and positive support is essential on both ends. Living as a single person is a mentality I see all too often and always has a negative outcome and that is why I asked that question. You are not a single person. You are not a single parent. You take some responsibilities over temporarily but it's not permanent and your spouse can still be a part of your day. You just need to get creative! If you would like to chat more about any this post, please feel free to contact me or leave a message in the comment section!
 
God bless,
Laura

2 comments:

  1. As the person deployed I agree completely with Taylor!! The #1 thing that helps me when I'm away is staying connected to my family...And not just my spouse (though of course he is number 1 to me), but also my parents and friends. I felt so, so blessed that other people took the time to send me notes, letters, emails, etc while I was gone. It made it a little bit easier when I was feeling frustrated or just plain tired from flying or the heat, etc. I can't imagine how it was to deploy before computers and cell phones. The ability to know I can call home or Facetime was just wonderful! Anyway, that is my two cents on this topic :) Thanks for sharing Laura, I always enjoy your blog.

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    1. Sara,
      Thank you for being a faithful reader:) I always love to get feedback from the deployed member side and I pray I do you all some kind of justice by the way I write about my own experiences and knowledge! Thank you for your service Sara! God bless:)

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